....me shutting down my milk factory. Just when I thought I'd increased the expressing interval from 2.5hrs to 3.5hrs to slow it all down to face the imminent end, my supply began to show some improvement. Don't be too happy for me first because after the sudden surge (probably due to the increased waiting interval), I can tell that the supply is fast diminishing.
I would like to thank you all for both the advice and consolation - yes, I was extremely upset....not stressed, but just upset that this didn't work out the 2nd time around either despite my putting in more effort. At least I think I managed to make fairly good use of my Spectra 2 pump as the machine groans when I turn it on and off now.
As with any other mother who feels guilty about stopping b/f, I am too. But I won't let this come into my way of enjoying motherhood :)
Cheeky Cheeky Me
Happy Happy Me
Saturday, 16 August 2008
Thursday, 14 August 2008
My Stupid Boo-bies
What havoc this evening!
During my confinement month, VT has been bringing Bryan home from my PILs. Then I will put Bryan to bed while VT watches over Brandon. Today VT had to return to work for an emergency. So there is myself, the maid and my CL. It all started when Brandon pooped so much until terkena my CL so she had to go wash up. So I had to tend to Brandon. Bryan started crying and screaming the moment I picked Brandon up (who was also crying and screaming). When Brandon stopped crying, I put him down and picked Bryan up. Then the whole cycle started again - pick one boy up, the other one cries. WALAU!!!! (All this time, the maid was taking a shower)
At the same time, my boo-bies were also screaming to be relieved. After all the chaos settled down, I took a drink to relax and sat down to be a cow. I would have expected a good volume of EBM as it was way past my expressing interval.
But NO......I only managed to express 2 miserable ounces.
I am at my wits end. I did all the "right" things - drink lots of water & papaya soup, rest, distract myself, express regularly even at night, etc. But still, these two stupid lump of flesh refused to co-operate. Now, I'm the sort who expects to see results whenever I work hard at something. This just isn't happening.
I'm waving my white flag.
Subject closed.
Amen.
During my confinement month, VT has been bringing Bryan home from my PILs. Then I will put Bryan to bed while VT watches over Brandon. Today VT had to return to work for an emergency. So there is myself, the maid and my CL. It all started when Brandon pooped so much until terkena my CL so she had to go wash up. So I had to tend to Brandon. Bryan started crying and screaming the moment I picked Brandon up (who was also crying and screaming). When Brandon stopped crying, I put him down and picked Bryan up. Then the whole cycle started again - pick one boy up, the other one cries. WALAU!!!! (All this time, the maid was taking a shower)
At the same time, my boo-bies were also screaming to be relieved. After all the chaos settled down, I took a drink to relax and sat down to be a cow. I would have expected a good volume of EBM as it was way past my expressing interval.
But NO......I only managed to express 2 miserable ounces.
I am at my wits end. I did all the "right" things - drink lots of water & papaya soup, rest, distract myself, express regularly even at night, etc. But still, these two stupid lump of flesh refused to co-operate. Now, I'm the sort who expects to see results whenever I work hard at something. This just isn't happening.
I'm waving my white flag.
Subject closed.
Amen.
Another Chapter Begins
Seeing that I still have some free time (ok, LOTS of free time) since the CL is around, I'd decided to pack up my maternity clothes this morning and replace them with the pre-pregger ones. As I was rifing through my spare wardrobe I came across the pre-pre-pregger wears. I held a pretty blouse up against my torso, and my-oh-my, I was tiny back then. I was only 45kg when I got married in 2004, blossomed into a healthy 50kg just before the 1st pregnancy. After giving birth to Bryan, I hit 63kg and never lost any of it. Now, I'm back to the mid-60kg range. At least, that is a consolation.
Pre-children I spent a lot of money on pretty clothes - I have 3 cupboards-full of stuff that I now cannot fit into. Then everything I tried on looked attractive and warranted a purchase. Post-children money is spent on clothes for the kiddos, albeit deriving the same amount of satisfaction, if not more.
All of a sudden, I felt melancholic and started to reflect how quickly things happened over the past 4 years. So much joy in bringing up Bryan, but frustrations and tears were aplenty too. And now with Brandon, we are going through the same cycle again. It all seemed so surreal.
And then the door bell rang - the postman was at my door. Back to reality.
Pre-children I spent a lot of money on pretty clothes - I have 3 cupboards-full of stuff that I now cannot fit into. Then everything I tried on looked attractive and warranted a purchase. Post-children money is spent on clothes for the kiddos, albeit deriving the same amount of satisfaction, if not more.
All of a sudden, I felt melancholic and started to reflect how quickly things happened over the past 4 years. So much joy in bringing up Bryan, but frustrations and tears were aplenty too. And now with Brandon, we are going through the same cycle again. It all seemed so surreal.
And then the door bell rang - the postman was at my door. Back to reality.
Wednesday, 13 August 2008
Frustrations All Around
Blame it on the hormones, blame it on brain inactivity for the past month. Everything seems so frustrating to me.
Firstly, there must be something wrong with my boo-bies. Now I have been diligently expressing BM every 2.5hrs during the day and 3hrs at night (I'm exclusively expressing), for the past 3 weeks. You would think that 8 times of expression would yield some pretty good volumes of BM. That's the frustrating part - I am still only able to express about 2.5ozs combined from both boo-bies. Surely that can't be right??! I've heard of a fully-expressing mama who had hundreds of ounces of milk shored up in her freezer by the time her confinement was over. I can barely express enough to feed Brandon. I did ask my visiting midwife and she was puzzled as well. My only conclusion is that some women have fewer milk storage ducts - perhaps I'm only trying to make myself feel better.
Conclusion: I'm giving myself 2 more weeks. If supply remains the same, I'm going to scrap EBM.
Then, there's my maid. She has been with us for 2 years and had previously indicated that she would like to extend another year. My maid is, I would say, almost close to perfect. Then suddenly she tells me that she wants to go home because she has pulled her back muscle and has been in great pain for the past 2 months. So now I'm kelam-kabut have to apply for a new maid. What sh*t timing. When the new maid arrives, I will have my hands full training her and taking care of an infant.
Conclusion: Maids - you can't live with them, you can't live without them.
Side track a bit - if anyone knows someone who makes ang koo please let me know. I need to source some for Brandon's full moon.
Firstly, there must be something wrong with my boo-bies. Now I have been diligently expressing BM every 2.5hrs during the day and 3hrs at night (I'm exclusively expressing), for the past 3 weeks. You would think that 8 times of expression would yield some pretty good volumes of BM. That's the frustrating part - I am still only able to express about 2.5ozs combined from both boo-bies. Surely that can't be right??! I've heard of a fully-expressing mama who had hundreds of ounces of milk shored up in her freezer by the time her confinement was over. I can barely express enough to feed Brandon. I did ask my visiting midwife and she was puzzled as well. My only conclusion is that some women have fewer milk storage ducts - perhaps I'm only trying to make myself feel better.
Conclusion: I'm giving myself 2 more weeks. If supply remains the same, I'm going to scrap EBM.
Then, there's my maid. She has been with us for 2 years and had previously indicated that she would like to extend another year. My maid is, I would say, almost close to perfect. Then suddenly she tells me that she wants to go home because she has pulled her back muscle and has been in great pain for the past 2 months. So now I'm kelam-kabut have to apply for a new maid. What sh*t timing. When the new maid arrives, I will have my hands full training her and taking care of an infant.
Conclusion: Maids - you can't live with them, you can't live without them.
Side track a bit - if anyone knows someone who makes ang koo please let me know. I need to source some for Brandon's full moon.
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Coffee, Anyone?
Sorry, it's not an invitation to coffee, much as I love to but have to wait till post-confinement.
I sent a text to this breastfeeding expert-mama on whether I could drink coffee whilst still expressing BM for the baby. She thought one cup daily was ok and I should drink it right after I express to give 2-3 hours lag time till I express again.
I have and always been a big coffee- drinker. Even when I was pregnant, I drank a cup of mild 3-in-1 a day to jumpstart the day. It probably explains why Brandon does not sleep from 12am to 3am everyday! I stopped when I delivered but with me resuming night duties next week, I think I need some caffeine to stay alive during the day. It's sort of like a domino effect - drink coffee when pregnant, baby doesn't sleep, need to drink coffee to jaga baby, baby doesn't sleep, need to drink coffee to jaga baby, baby doesn't sleep, need to drink coffee to jaga baby...you get what I mean.
So, what do other breast-feeding mummies out there think? Can drink or not??
I sent a text to this breastfeeding expert-mama on whether I could drink coffee whilst still expressing BM for the baby. She thought one cup daily was ok and I should drink it right after I express to give 2-3 hours lag time till I express again.
I have and always been a big coffee- drinker. Even when I was pregnant, I drank a cup of mild 3-in-1 a day to jumpstart the day. It probably explains why Brandon does not sleep from 12am to 3am everyday! I stopped when I delivered but with me resuming night duties next week, I think I need some caffeine to stay alive during the day. It's sort of like a domino effect - drink coffee when pregnant, baby doesn't sleep, need to drink coffee to jaga baby, baby doesn't sleep, need to drink coffee to jaga baby, baby doesn't sleep, need to drink coffee to jaga baby...you get what I mean.
So, what do other breast-feeding mummies out there think? Can drink or not??
Monday, 11 August 2008
High Blood Pressure Week
Actually, I didn't want to b*tch about my 1st CL but I feel that I should warn people also lah. This is based on my personal experience.
I got my 1st CL through a confinement agency - Pei Ling (their formal business name is Daveleen). It was a desparate effort on my side as by the time I wanted to book a CL, all of the recommended names that I got from various people, have all been pre-booked. Moreover I heard that July/August was a popular month. So no choice lor. I had thought that at least the agency would maintain some level of standard hence it won't be so bad.
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
You know how you don't get a good feeling when you meet someone for the first time? I had this when I picked her up from the agency. Call it gut feeling, call it intuition. Firstly, she looked so young (she's only 38yrs old) and then her face expression was close to one belonging to a corpse. Never mind, I thought, as long as she's good at handling the baby and good at cooking.
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
Firstly, you can tell that she is not experienced in handling the baby. During bath times, she literally dumped the whole baby's body into the water. Of course the baby cried to no end. Then when I asked her why she wanted to be a CL, she said that she loved babies. What BS! She barely speaks or molly-cuddle the baby. She treated the baby like a commodity, doing about her tasks like a robot. Zero compassion. Obviously a mercenary.
Then there was one time when the plaster strips from the disposable diaper got stuck to the baby's skin because she forgot to paste them back when changing the diapers. My poor baby cried out in so much pain when she removed it!
Let's not even talk about her cooking - she herself confessed that she doesn't know how to cook. She doesn't even need to cook in her own home as her husband is a chef.
In that one week, my blood pressure literally shot up. Luckily I had some experience in handling an infant. It ended up with me teaching her how to go about doing things. The tipping point was when I saw her eating some medicine. Turned out that she was having a fever and sore throat! Immediately I called the agency up and asked for a replacement. They then told me that it would take up to a week because it's "peak" period then. Unfortunately I had to pay the full RM2,880 up-front so I couldn't ask for a refund. I converted the service to a food delivery package instead. I was totally fed-up with them by then.
Then the food delivery is another cerita. The entire package for 28-days of lunch & dinner costs close to RM2,000. Delivery charges are separate - RM7 per day (daylight robbery!). This comes up to RM78 per day. You would expect some pretty great stuff, right?
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
A typical lunch comprisez of beans/cauliflower (all-time favourite with the agency, it seems) and a tasteless meat. Then dinner, which mind you is delivered together with lunch, is some taufu, another piece of tasteless meat and a soup. Oops, sorry it doesn't even qualify as soup since the it is so diluted. Rice I have to cook myself.
After the CL left, my trusted Indon maid told me that the CL took our chocolates and ate them without our knowledge. Not like I would have said No, but it would be polite to ask. Plus the CL also told my maid that Malaysians treat Indon maids as "dogs". GEEZZ!!!! What kind of a person would say that???!! It just shows you what kind of a person she is. Really, if I see her around (afterall, she is from Puchong), I would give her a big piece of my mind.
After sharing my experiences with a couple of other people, I found out that I am not the only disgruntled one. Apparently, this agency already has a bad reputation. If only I knew earlier, I could have avoided suffering for one week.
I got my 1st CL through a confinement agency - Pei Ling (their formal business name is Daveleen). It was a desparate effort on my side as by the time I wanted to book a CL, all of the recommended names that I got from various people, have all been pre-booked. Moreover I heard that July/August was a popular month. So no choice lor. I had thought that at least the agency would maintain some level of standard hence it won't be so bad.
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
You know how you don't get a good feeling when you meet someone for the first time? I had this when I picked her up from the agency. Call it gut feeling, call it intuition. Firstly, she looked so young (she's only 38yrs old) and then her face expression was close to one belonging to a corpse. Never mind, I thought, as long as she's good at handling the baby and good at cooking.
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
Firstly, you can tell that she is not experienced in handling the baby. During bath times, she literally dumped the whole baby's body into the water. Of course the baby cried to no end. Then when I asked her why she wanted to be a CL, she said that she loved babies. What BS! She barely speaks or molly-cuddle the baby. She treated the baby like a commodity, doing about her tasks like a robot. Zero compassion. Obviously a mercenary.
Then there was one time when the plaster strips from the disposable diaper got stuck to the baby's skin because she forgot to paste them back when changing the diapers. My poor baby cried out in so much pain when she removed it!
Let's not even talk about her cooking - she herself confessed that she doesn't know how to cook. She doesn't even need to cook in her own home as her husband is a chef.
In that one week, my blood pressure literally shot up. Luckily I had some experience in handling an infant. It ended up with me teaching her how to go about doing things. The tipping point was when I saw her eating some medicine. Turned out that she was having a fever and sore throat! Immediately I called the agency up and asked for a replacement. They then told me that it would take up to a week because it's "peak" period then. Unfortunately I had to pay the full RM2,880 up-front so I couldn't ask for a refund. I converted the service to a food delivery package instead. I was totally fed-up with them by then.
Then the food delivery is another cerita. The entire package for 28-days of lunch & dinner costs close to RM2,000. Delivery charges are separate - RM7 per day (daylight robbery!). This comes up to RM78 per day. You would expect some pretty great stuff, right?
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
A typical lunch comprisez of beans/cauliflower (all-time favourite with the agency, it seems) and a tasteless meat. Then dinner, which mind you is delivered together with lunch, is some taufu, another piece of tasteless meat and a soup. Oops, sorry it doesn't even qualify as soup since the it is so diluted. Rice I have to cook myself.
After the CL left, my trusted Indon maid told me that the CL took our chocolates and ate them without our knowledge. Not like I would have said No, but it would be polite to ask. Plus the CL also told my maid that Malaysians treat Indon maids as "dogs". GEEZZ!!!! What kind of a person would say that???!! It just shows you what kind of a person she is. Really, if I see her around (afterall, she is from Puchong), I would give her a big piece of my mind.
After sharing my experiences with a couple of other people, I found out that I am not the only disgruntled one. Apparently, this agency already has a bad reputation. If only I knew earlier, I could have avoided suffering for one week.
The "WTF" Labour Story
It all started with weak abdominal pains whilst dining on Dome’s chicken & mushroom pie during my team lunch. I’d ignored it, thinking it was Braxton Hicks. The pain returned during coffee break at 4pm (I don’t usually have coffee break but the team wanted to “celebrate” my last day at work). I’d ignored it again.
And again when I was driving home.
And again during dinner.
And again when I was putting Bryan to sleep at 10pm.
By 11pm, I was doubled in pain. VT was out for a client's dinner but I called him to get his a** back asap. By the time he showed up, I was hanging on to the front door grille and squating on the floor. My PILs also rushed over to keep an eye on the sleeping Bryan.
We sped through heavy Friday night traffic and screeched in front of E&A of the hospital in 15mins. I couldn't walk by then so I had to be ferried using a wheelchair to the Maternity Ward.
At Maternity Ward
Me: I am in labour. Can I be admitted?
Midwife (MW): Nanti, we check dulu (hook me up to the CTG)
Me: Look, I am in labour and I want the epidural
MW: Tak apa, we check dulu
Me: (WTF????) My contractions already 3 minutes apart, of course I'm in labour!!!!!!!
MW: (pretend didn't hear)
1 hour 15mins later........after the ningkampoop agreed that I was in fact in labour.
At Labour Room
Me: Where's the anaethestist?
MW: I just called him...should be here in 30mins
Me: 30 MINUTES????????? (WTF?? Couldn't you have called him earlier??)
Another hour later of more labour pains.....after the epidural was administered.
Me: Dr, it's still very painful on my left side
Dr: Hmm....are you sure?
Me: Yes (WTF?? Of course I'm freaking sure!!)
Dr: (fiddle with the epidural administrator) I think we have to remove and administer again
Me: (WTF?????) Ok, no choice lor
After the epidural was administered the 2nd time.
Me: *Bliss* (eh, whose fat legs are those up ahead?? he he)
After 8 hours of labour, the little boy made it appearance. Delivery was a piece of cake - I only need to push 6-7 times. I was having a bad cough but it was a blessing in disguise as each time I coughed, the baby was pushed further down the cervics.
Up to the point of delivery, the water bag didn't even break. The funny part was that I managed to see my own delivery because the TV was angled such that I could see the reflection of my "V". I tried not looking because it is actually quite gross but curiousity got the better of me.
When Brandon was placed on my tummy and I saw him the first time, I cried in joy that the little boy is normal. That's all that matters.
And again when I was driving home.
And again during dinner.
And again when I was putting Bryan to sleep at 10pm.
By 11pm, I was doubled in pain. VT was out for a client's dinner but I called him to get his a** back asap. By the time he showed up, I was hanging on to the front door grille and squating on the floor. My PILs also rushed over to keep an eye on the sleeping Bryan.
We sped through heavy Friday night traffic and screeched in front of E&A of the hospital in 15mins. I couldn't walk by then so I had to be ferried using a wheelchair to the Maternity Ward.
At Maternity Ward
Me: I am in labour. Can I be admitted?
Midwife (MW): Nanti, we check dulu (hook me up to the CTG)
Me: Look, I am in labour and I want the epidural
MW: Tak apa, we check dulu
Me: (WTF????) My contractions already 3 minutes apart, of course I'm in labour!!!!!!!
MW: (pretend didn't hear)
1 hour 15mins later........after the ningkampoop agreed that I was in fact in labour.
At Labour Room
Me: Where's the anaethestist?
MW: I just called him...should be here in 30mins
Me: 30 MINUTES????????? (WTF?? Couldn't you have called him earlier??)
Another hour later of more labour pains.....after the epidural was administered.
Me: Dr, it's still very painful on my left side
Dr: Hmm....are you sure?
Me: Yes (WTF?? Of course I'm freaking sure!!)
Dr: (fiddle with the epidural administrator) I think we have to remove and administer again
Me: (WTF?????) Ok, no choice lor
After the epidural was administered the 2nd time.
Me: *Bliss* (eh, whose fat legs are those up ahead?? he he)
After 8 hours of labour, the little boy made it appearance. Delivery was a piece of cake - I only need to push 6-7 times. I was having a bad cough but it was a blessing in disguise as each time I coughed, the baby was pushed further down the cervics.
Up to the point of delivery, the water bag didn't even break. The funny part was that I managed to see my own delivery because the TV was angled such that I could see the reflection of my "V". I tried not looking because it is actually quite gross but curiousity got the better of me.
When Brandon was placed on my tummy and I saw him the first time, I cried in joy that the little boy is normal. That's all that matters.
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Introducing........Brandon
Sorry for the delay of the upload of photos. Our home PC KO-ed and was only rescued by my Dad today. Still, better late than never right? *wink*
Enjoying It!
My new CL came last Sunday, and true enough, I have been enjoying every single minute of it!! The food that she cooks is good (Cantonese style) and I can nap anytime of the day. If only I got her from the start, I would have avoided a week's worth of high blood pressure. More about that later. The only thing about this CL is that she doesn't allow me to wash my hair. So what do I do? I do wash it but after that, I will blow-dry and tie up my hair again. Naughty, hor? Then there was one day when I told her that I had a check-up but scooted off to Tesco to kai-kai abit!!
Brandon is growing by the day. He is already 3.2kg 6 days ago when the midwife came to the house to weigh him. Too bad I can't take credit for it since he's drinking formula at night. I am still diligently expressing BM 8 times daily. He's more wakeful during the day now and somehow, doesn't sleep from midnight to 3am everyday. I am going to suffer when the CL leaves, that's a fact!
Bryan is warming up to the fact that there is another baby in the house, but he still doesn't allow me to carry Brandon. I suppose it will take some time. If anyone has any tips, appreciate them!
Brandon is growing by the day. He is already 3.2kg 6 days ago when the midwife came to the house to weigh him. Too bad I can't take credit for it since he's drinking formula at night. I am still diligently expressing BM 8 times daily. He's more wakeful during the day now and somehow, doesn't sleep from midnight to 3am everyday. I am going to suffer when the CL leaves, that's a fact!
Bryan is warming up to the fact that there is another baby in the house, but he still doesn't allow me to carry Brandon. I suppose it will take some time. If anyone has any tips, appreciate them!
Friday, 1 August 2008
First Night Duty
Since the CL left, VT has been responsible for doing the graveyard shifts while I accompany Bryan to bed. The problem with Bryan is that he still wakes up a few times in the middle of the night looking for me (or rather, my thumbs!). Somehow even in his slumber stupour, Bryan is still able to distinguish VT's thumb from mine!
Anyway, as you know Brandon is much of a night owl. He fusses from midnight to 3am, then makes a symphony of weird groans and cries throughout the night. Last night, VT had to go outstation so Bryan slept over at my PILs. I spent my first full night with the little one. I'm totally smashed today as I've become a very light sleeper so I awaken with each whimper.
By the way, there is another twist to my CL situation. My mum hired a new one for me and she's coming on Sunday. VT & I are not too keen since we can manage but my mum pok-pek pok-pek about me not having enough nutritious food. So what to do, take only lor...somemore she insisted that she pays for this CL. *Sigh* hopefully this one doesn't raise my blood pressure like the previous one.
Going to catch 40 winks now. I left Brandon in his cot downstairs and came up to shower (and blog!). Sounds quiet - think he's fallen asleep :)
Anyway, as you know Brandon is much of a night owl. He fusses from midnight to 3am, then makes a symphony of weird groans and cries throughout the night. Last night, VT had to go outstation so Bryan slept over at my PILs. I spent my first full night with the little one. I'm totally smashed today as I've become a very light sleeper so I awaken with each whimper.
By the way, there is another twist to my CL situation. My mum hired a new one for me and she's coming on Sunday. VT & I are not too keen since we can manage but my mum pok-pek pok-pek about me not having enough nutritious food. So what to do, take only lor...somemore she insisted that she pays for this CL. *Sigh* hopefully this one doesn't raise my blood pressure like the previous one.
Going to catch 40 winks now. I left Brandon in his cot downstairs and came up to shower (and blog!). Sounds quiet - think he's fallen asleep :)
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